Stephanie Rutt
  • Home
  • About
    • Personal Statement
    • Extended Bio
    • Creation of the Tree of Life Interfaith Temple
  • Blog
    • Blog: Become a Force for Good
  • Books
    • Lovers in the Wilderness: Awaken Mystical Unity and Create a Joyful Life with Mantra Prayer
    • An Ordinary Life Transformed: Lessons for Everyone from the Bhagavad Gita - Second Edition
    • The Call of the Mourning Dove: How Sacred Sound Awakens Mystical Unity
    • Living the Prayer of Jesus: A Study of the Lord's Prayer in Aramaic
    • Interfaith Worship Manual: The Resource for Creating Interfaith Worship Services
    • The Sheikh and the Preacher
  • Path of Direct Revelation
  • Rolling Ridge Programs
  • Videos
  • Poetry
    • Everyday God
    • I Am Waking Now
    • I Am Here
    • What If
    • Treasures Collection
    • Something Beautiful
    • I Am Running Now
    • S...tut...tering >
      • I Used to Want a Ph.D.
    • Why You Are Here
    • Love's Song
    • My God
  • Spiritual Mentoring
  • Seminary Program
  • Book Audios
    • Lovers in the Wilderness
    • The Lord's Prayer
  • Interfaith Spiritual Practices
  • Contact
  • 3 Feathers Trilogy of Love
  • Newsprint Publications
S…tut…tering
Wheels grating on concrete
            Caught.  Can’t breathe.
Large black projector pushed in.
Kids running around.
            Counting.  How many till me?
            Frantic.  Searching.  Out the window. 
            Hearing voices.  Closer.
My turn.
            Eyes.  Suddenly quiet.
            Stomach heaving. 
Pushing. 
Straining.
            Shaking. 
Smiling. 
Giggles.  Pointing.
            Disappearing.
            Dying. 
 



When I was a young girl about ten years old I started to stutter. This poem describes the anguish I felt when I heard the filmstrip projector being brought down the hall and into our classroom. I knew we would be going around the room with each of us taking turns reading a slide. It was my most painful time.
 
It would be after a lifetime of healing my inner little girl before I would come to realize that stuttering had been my greatest gift. Why? Because God also made me a teacher. But, in order to walk into a classroom, especially to meet a new class, I would have to ask God each time to talk for me because I just knew I could not. And, graciously, time after time, God did. Over the years, whether I am teaching, preaching or presenting, I always plan well and then hand it over to my Beloved God whom I have long come to witness can do it much better than I!  Stuttering brought me to the altar of total trust and surrender. For this blessed gift, to time and time again feel myself, my voice, being used as God’s instrument, I feel more gratitude than I could ever adequately express. And, all the pain of stuttering? A small…a very small price to pay, indeed.  
 
Yes, we do, indeed, blossom not in spite of but because of.
FACEBOOK: TOL SCHOOL FOR SACRED LIVING
FACEBOOK: REV.  DR. STEPHANIE RUTT
© COPYRIGHT 2021, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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  • Home
  • About
    • Personal Statement
    • Extended Bio
    • Creation of the Tree of Life Interfaith Temple
  • Blog
    • Blog: Become a Force for Good
  • Books
    • Lovers in the Wilderness: Awaken Mystical Unity and Create a Joyful Life with Mantra Prayer
    • An Ordinary Life Transformed: Lessons for Everyone from the Bhagavad Gita - Second Edition
    • The Call of the Mourning Dove: How Sacred Sound Awakens Mystical Unity
    • Living the Prayer of Jesus: A Study of the Lord's Prayer in Aramaic
    • Interfaith Worship Manual: The Resource for Creating Interfaith Worship Services
    • The Sheikh and the Preacher
  • Path of Direct Revelation
  • Rolling Ridge Programs
  • Videos
  • Poetry
    • Everyday God
    • I Am Waking Now
    • I Am Here
    • What If
    • Treasures Collection
    • Something Beautiful
    • I Am Running Now
    • S...tut...tering >
      • I Used to Want a Ph.D.
    • Why You Are Here
    • Love's Song
    • My God
  • Spiritual Mentoring
  • Seminary Program
  • Book Audios
    • Lovers in the Wilderness
    • The Lord's Prayer
  • Interfaith Spiritual Practices
  • Contact
  • 3 Feathers Trilogy of Love
  • Newsprint Publications